1K6-2: Why Every Bible Timeline You’ve Ever Seen Is A Massive Pile of Horse Dung!

Alrighty, when we last left off,  I was talking about the construction of Solomon’s Temple and how it was freakin’ difficult, if not impossible, to pin down the exact date this took place.

Why?

Because ancient cultures measured a king’s reign differently.

And the text itself is ambiguous.

So today, I’m gonna put all of this confusion to rest for all time and forever.

And to give credit where credit is due, I got this information from Tom Bradford’s awesome Torah Class.

So if anyone wants to try and accuse me of plagiarism, go right the hell ahead!

I ain’t got nothing to hide.

Alrighty, let’s get into it.

Here’s what it all boils down to.

In a nutshell, there are five different systems ancient homies used to track how long a king had been ruling.

Historians refer to them as the “Regnal Year,” the “Accession Year,” the “Postdating System,” the “Nonaccession Year,” and “Co-regency.”

Let’s examine them one by one.

FIRST, we have the “Regnal Year.”

This was when the official royal year kicked off at the start of the New Year, but here’s the twist.

It got backdated to the previous New Year.

For the Hebrews, that New Year landed in the month of Nissan (the same as it did up in Mesopotamia).

But hold on, things get even messier, homies.

After Solomon died and the kingdom split, the two halves didn’t even agree on when the year started.

The northern Kingdom of Israel went with Tishri, the 7th month, as their New Year.

And the southern Kingdom of Judah decided to stick with Nissan, the 1st month.

So we’re talking about the same nation with two different calendars.

Are you starting to get a headache yet?

SECOND, we have the “Accession year.”

This one determines that whatever time falls between the king’s actual coronation date and the New Year counts as his first year.

So a king could literally assume the throne one day before the New Year.

But the second the next year rolled around, BOOM.

The royal homie was already in the second year of his reign.

His entire “first year” could have lasted just one day!

Onward.

THIRD, we have what’s called the “Postdating system.”

So this system is the opposite of the previous one we just looked at.

Whereas the Accession Year system waits for the first full year after the New Year to start counting, this “Postdating system” backdates to the previous New Year.

So a royal homie could sit on the throne for many months before the New Year hits, and none of that time counts toward his reign.

The clock doesn’t start until that first New Year rolls around after his coronation.

Ya feeling me here?

A guy could rule for 11 full months and have nothing to show for it on the official record.

Man, it would suck big time if I were working for a company that calculated my vacation time in this manner.

Alrighty, two more left to go.

FOURTH, we have what’s called the “Nonaccession year.”

So this one is probably the one most similar to Western or Greek black-and-white thinking.

Obviously, this one is the most mathematically accurate.

But again, that way of thinking is just a Greek notion anyway.

Finally, let’s move on to the last one called “Co-regency.”

So the title of this system is pretty self-explanatory.

This is when a king names his successor while he’s still alive and running things.

And that’s it!

That’s the five systems.

So I gotta quiz question for you.

Which system applies to Solomon’s reign?  

Take a guess.

The answer is Co-regency.

Why?

Because David was still alive and on the throne when he appointed his son Solomon to the throne.

Remember, David didn’t actually step down after Solomon became King.

So for a temporary period of time, you had two kings (the father and the son) operating at the same time.

Hmm…I wonder if there’s some kind of Biblical pattern here pointing to Yeshua and his Father in Heaven.

Ah, screw it, I don’t wanna go there right now.

Anyway, the bottom line is that David’s reign didn’t end when Solomon’s began.

It ended when David died.

So what’s the takeaway for today?

First off, none of these systems is necessarily right or wrong or better or worse than the others.

A king could pick whatever system suited his rear end.

Or the system might change depending on the situation.

For example, one king’s reign could be measured using the “Non-accession” year system.

Then all of a sudden, his successor would be using the “Post-dating” system or something.

But wait, it gets even worse.

Sometimes, the author or editor of the biblical text was the one who, willy-nilly, depending on how much marijuana he smoked that day, made the call on which system to use. 

And we don’t even know which system the Biblical narrator was using because the homie never bothered to point that out to us.

Ya feel me here?

So you know all those fancy-pants, full-color fold-out timelines you see in the back of some study Bibles.

You know, the ones that lay out every king of Israel and Judah in these nice, neat, color-coded rows?

As if the homies who created them actually knew what they were doing.

It’s all a bunch of horse manure piled high to the sky, man!

That’s right.

Those pretty-looking timelines are just educated guesses dressed up in pretty clothes.

The bottom line is ya gotta take those things as approximations, NOT absolutes!

So, if you’ve ever wondered why, when you grab five different study Bibles off the shelf and compare their timelines, you get five different answers, well, now you know.

Ya feel me?

Done.