“Judah recognized them and said,
‘She is more righteous than I,
since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.’
And he did not sleep with her again.”
– Genesis 38:26
There is another well-known Bible story that makes little sense to Western believers.
But anybody raised in a shame-and-honor-based society would get it instantly.
I’m talking about the story of Judah and Tamar in Genesis Chapter 38.
How the story goes is that Judah marries a woman who produces 3 sons.
The oldest son out of these 3 marries Tamar.
However, this oldest son dies.
Per the customs of the time (known as Levirate marriage), the next son in line marries the widowed Tamar.
However, this son dies before he can produce a son with Tamar.
So again, per the tradition of the time, Judah was obligated to give his 3rd son to Tamar in marriage.
However, Judah refused.
Why?
Because he feared his third son, named Shelah, might die too, following the deaths of his two older brothers (named Er and Onan).
Once that happened, as a Middle Eastern woman, Tamar had been shamed.
She had lost her honor.
To keep the name of her first husband alive, it was necessary for her to produce offspring for him.
So what did Tamar do?
She disguised herself as a prostitute and tricked Judah into sleeping with her.
As a result, she became pregnant.
When Judah caught wind of her pregnancy, he called for Tamar to be burned alive.
Remember, Judah had no idea that he was the father of the baby now growing in Tamar’s womb.
However, once Tamar informed Judah that he was actually the father and produced evidence to prove it (Judah’s seal, cord, and staff), Judah quickly changed his tune and declared Tamar more righteous than himself.
So that’s the story in a nutshell.
Now I have to admit that when I first read this story, as an American, I had no idea why in the hell Judah was declaring Tamar more righteous than himself.
I may be half-Japanese, but I was reared in a Greek-thinking Western culture.
So this story just flew over my head like a 747 jetliner soaring above the clouds of Cincinnati.
Thanks to Tom Bradford’s Torah Class, It’s not until I viewed this story through the lens of its shame-and-honor cultural context that it started to make sense to me.
The bottom line is that Tamar had been greatly shamed by Judah when he refused to give her his third son in marriage.
Remember, behavior in a shame-and-honor-based society has nothing to do with doing right and wrong.
Tamar lied, prostituted herself, and committed incest with Judah to restore her honor.
She went the whole freakin’ “nine yards,” to quote Bradford.
And it was still cool beans!
Heck man, even Judah declared her righteous at the end of the day.
Why?
Because in a shame-and-honor-based society, anything goes as long as it enables the shamed party to restore his or her honor.
Ya feeling me here?
So you can’t judge Tamar’s behavior through a typical Western guilt-and-innocence framework.
The story doesn’t make sense if you do.
Judah’s actions also have to be interpreted through an honor-and-shame framework.
Think about it.
Once Judah heard that his daughter-in-law had become pregnant outside of marriage, this was a scandal of gargantuan proportions!
Judah’s entire family had been greatly shamed.
That’s why he demanded that Tamar be burned alive.
Again, in a shame-and-honor-based culture, her death would’ve been an acceptable means to restore honor.
However, once he discovered the truth, he immediately declared her “righteous” after all.
Interestingly. Judah’s honor became slightly degraded when he refused to give Shelah, his third son, to her in marriage per tribal custom.
That’s why he proclaimed that Tamar, a woman, possessed even more honor than him for her clever actions in doing whatever she could to get her honor back.
So can you see that it’s totally futile to view this story through a Western right-and-wrong framework?
If you wanna talk about right and wrong…
Think about it like this.
Whatever you need to do to restore honor that has been lost is acceptable.
It doesn’t matter if you lie…
Or even if you kill the offender.
If your behavior allows you to restore your honor in society…
It is “right,” so to speak.
Ya feel me?
Nobody debated or even questioned the rightness or wrongness of Tamar’s actions.
It was simply understood that she was doing whatever she could to restore her honor.
That’s why she was never condemned.
At the end of the day, it was Judah who was slapped on the wrist metaphorically for not following the Levirate marriage traditions of the times.
Once you understand how shame-and-honor-based societies operate, a lot of other scenes in Scripture begin to make more sense.
For instance, Sarah having Abraham sleep with Hagar was all about her attempting to get rid of the shame of being a childless woman.
The same goes with Joseph attempting to protect Miriam’s (Mary’s) honor after he found out she had gotten pregnant outside of wedlock via the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
A lot of baffling behavior will clear up for you when you properly view it through a shame-and-honor-based framework.
You simply can’t ignore this cultural framework embedded in our Holy Scriptures.
The next time we meet, we’ll take a look at some of Yeshua’s sayings through this framework.
I imagine this will also be quite mind-blowing to you.
See ya all next time.
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