“Unfortunately, I am sorry to report almost everything taught in Christianity today and through the ages regarding sex, human sexuality has been, and still is wrong, leading to mass sexual frustration and deeply rooted sexual bondage. There was one basic problem: in order to understand what the biblical position is on any subject, and particularly on the subject of sex, one has to do it from a Hebrew perspective.“-Dr. Roy B. Blizzard, The Bible, Sex, and You
I believe Gentile Christian teaching in the area of Biblical sexual ethics has committed one fatal error.
The error is that they have failed to make a distinction between God’s ideal standard and what is actually sin.
There is no doubt that God’s ideal is one man and one woman coming together as one flesh for life.
I have no argument with that statement.
However, what I do take issue with is the blanket condemnation and the labeling of sin any other form of sexual activity that doesn’t fit this ideal standard.
This black-and-white approach to sexual ethics is foreign to God’s mind on this subject as expressed in the Scriptures.
First, I submit to you that some of the most revered, prominent and greatest Bible heroes in the Hebrew Scriptures including Yeshua did NOT meet this ideal standard.
-We all know that Abraham slept with Sarah’s slave-girl Hagar and gave birth to Ishmael.
-We have just studied how the 12 tribes of Israel came from Jacob’s two wives Rachel and Leah and two hand maidens.
-King David had at least seven legal wives in addition to his harem of concubines.
(In 2 Samuel 12:8 God, speaking through the prophet Nathan, said that if David’s wives and concubines were not enough, He would have given David even more. Holy Texas tuxedos!)
– Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. (By the way, the Song of Solomon is a book about King Solomon’s 141st wife!)
-Caleb had two wives. He was one of only two men allowed to enter the promised land! Even Moses didn’t make it into the promised land.
-Now get this. Joash also had two wives selected by a priest.
-The Holy Spirit of God never left the strongman Samson when he was sleeping around with prostitutes. (The Holy Spirit only left him when he got his hair cut resulting in the breaking of his Nazarite vow.)
-Gideon is the son of a prostitute AND had 70 sons through many wives. He is considered to be a man of God.
-Yeshua Himself never met this ideal standard as He never took a wife. I have heard some Chassidic Rabbis discredit His messianic credentials for this very reason.
Second, the Torah rulings themselves assume and make provision for polygamy.
If polygamy is a “sin” as so many people believe, then God would not make rules to work around polygamy, he would clearly denounce it and say it is a sin.
The following Scriptures show that God allowed and assumed the normalcy of polygamy.
“If a man takes another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights.”-Exodus 21:10
If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:-Deuteronomy 21:15
“If a man marries a woman and her mother, it is depravity; they are to be put to death by fire, both he and they, so that there will not be depravity among you.”-Leviticus 20:14 (NOTE: This rule would be irrelevant if polygamy was a sin.)
Again, far from denouncing polygamy, the Torah makes provision for it.
Finally, don’t misinterpret the Bible’s definition of “sin”.
I think we all have a tendency to play fast and loose with God’s definition of the word “sin“.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I believe the biggest mistake some people make is failing to make a distinction between God’s ideal standard and what is actually a sin.
God’s ideal is NOT necessarily God’s command.
So what is the Biblical definition of sin?
A sin is an action which requires blood sacrifice or blood to be shed.
And that’s it.
For the life of a creature is in the blood,
and I have given it to you on the altar to make atonement for yourselves;
for it is the blood that makes atonement because of the life.’
–Leviticus 17:11
“In fact, according to the Torah,
almost everything is purified with blood;
indeed, without the shedding of blood
there is no forgiveness of sins.”
-Hebrews 9:22
Except for the situation where a daughter prostitutes herself in her father’s house, THERE IS NO PASSAGE IN THE BIBLE THAT STATES YOU NEED A BLOOD SACRIFICE OR FOR BLOOD TO BE SHED WHEN SOMEONE HAS SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.
The Conclusion
Although polygamy is not ideal in God’s eyes, it is NOT condemned as a sin by God.
The rigid, black and white approach to sexual ethics that many fundamentalist organizations promote is NOT an accurate reflection of the Torah’s views on the subject.
It is for good reason that the Jews have always viewed Christianity’s unhealthy and repressive views on sexuality with much scorn and misapprehension.
Correction – Gideon had 70 SONS because he had many wives.
Correction noted and fixed. Thank you. -Rich
Well done article. My only question is where does the concept of monogamy being ideal come from? I see no clear or implied distinction at all made in scripture. It seems marriage is simply marriage.
Hi Curtis, Thank you for the positive feedback. The concept of monogamy being ideal is normally taught from Genesis 2 which depicts the creation of Eve out of Adam’s rib and then goes on to state that one man and one woman shall become “one flesh”. Another example used is the story of Noah’s ark. When Noah was bringing the various animals into the ark, notice they were brought into pairs of ONE male and ONE female. Many have cited this to show that this is the “ideal” pattern that God has established for sexual relations between His creation. Hope this helps! Thanks for reading!
Good start! I realize this is an older post, but a Google search brought up this blog. If anyone is interested in further discussion and a wealth of resources on biblical marriage, may I recomend http://www.113restoration.com
I am not a scholar. The verses you cite for God’s tolerance of polygamy come after the accounts of Abraham and Jacob/Esau. Would they have been permitted on the basis of Moses relaying of the law on divorce because of what Abraham and Jacob/Esau dabbled in? Sin and unbelief resulted in Ishmael, Jacobs two wives,etc… Jesus explains that out of the “hardness of their hearts” divorce is permitted. Just pondering. Thank you.
Hi there, I’m not necessarily a scholar either. But in response to your question, I think I have very clearly articulated my position on this issue in this post (and others). God’s ideal is marriage between ONE man and ONE woman for life. However, we live in a fallen world and try as we might, even the best of us will fall short of fulfilling God’s ideals. A perfect example of this is when a couple decides to divorce. Although not ideal, the Scripture allows it, if the circumstances warrant it. In Yeshua’s (Jesus) day, men were willy-nilly taking wives left and right to satisfy their selfish carnal desires. Yeshua was speaking out against this practice. Concerning polygamy, I don’t see a wholehearted promotion of the practice in the Scriptures BUT I also don’t see a scathing condemnation of it either. The very fact that God issued rules legislating the practice is more than enough evidence substantiating that He doesn’t condemn the practice. Thank you for reading.
Excellent explanation. the only thing is you say God ideal is to be monogamous. I beg to disagree. For example: Jacob was ideal for polygamy because God needed to make him the founding father of the nation of Israel. shalom
Thanks for reading and the positive feedback Oscar! Wouldn’t have any problem with your point of disagreement. No problem at all. Shalom brother!
I prefer the New Testament definition of sin, sin is transgression of the law. I know you are doing exposition on the Old Testament, but in any case transgression of the law required a sacrifice of blood as you say. Noah’s 7 pair were for clean, 2 pairs for unclean; Of every clean beast you shall take to you by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female. Which also knows down those who claim clean and unclean are of the Jes, this was way before any Jew was born. Polygamy, heck I had enough trouble with one wife, even if it was socially acceptable and biblical, I could not handle more than one at a time!
Dear one, your exposition/presentation is perfect. the Lord has opened my eyes in the scriptures to see it just the same way. YHWH fears no one, He calls “a spade a spade”. Whatever he allows is good and holy.
All we need is to ask him to give us a clean/new heart as promised in the book of Jeremiah. Let every one know that our God is ONE (FATHER, SON AND HOLY SPIRIT) and non is holier than ELOHIM.
KOFI AGYEMANG BOATENG, GHANA
*Please you can publish my full name under my comment.
Thanks for sharing.
Romans 15:4 For EVERYTHING that was written in the past WAS WRITTEN TO TEACH US, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.
There are many Bible passages where God directly and indirectly justifies polygamy. It would be disingenuous, i.e. dishonest, deceitful, underhand, underhanded, duplicitous, double-dealing, two-faced, dissembling, insincere, false, lying, untruthful to ignore all of these passages:
For Example:
1. Exodus 21:8 – Establishes rules for slaves who became wives. Note there is no mention of the man having to be single to marry a slave.
2. Exodus 21:10 – A man is not allowed to diminish food, clothing and marital rights (sexual cohabitation), if he marries an additional wife.
3. Leviticus 20:14 – Prevents a man from marrying a woman and her mother at the same time. This rule would be irrelevant if polygamy was a sin.
4. Deuteronomy 21:15 “If a man has two wives,” obviously provides for multiple wives.
5. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 – A man is to marry a virgin he had sex with, as long as the father did not refuse him. However, notice there is no mention on whether than man is single or not. If it was a sin to be a polygamist, there would have been a rule here saying if the man was already married, he would be punished or stoned.
6. Judges 8:30 – Gideon had 70 sons and “many wives”. He was a man of God.
7. 1 Samuel 1:2 & 13:14 – Elkanah a Levite, has two wives. One of his wives, Hannah, gave birth to the prophet Samuel. Wouldn’t he be an illegitimate child, if polygamy was a sin?
8. 2 Samuel 12:7-8 – David was given his dead master’s wives. Also, God said, he could have given him more than what he had. However, David chose to kill a man to steal his wife and that was where his sin was. God indirectly promotes polygamy in this passage.
9. 1 Kings 11:1-3 & Deuteronomy 17:17 – Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. However, it is made clear, his sin was marrying strange (foreign) wives and multiplying wives, not having more than one wife. His foreign wives ended up leading him to idolatry later on in his life. Adding more than one wife, such as his father, King David did, was not a sin. And it should be clear, that Bathsheba was married and the sin was he was taking another’s wife, not adding another wife, as is made clear by the prophet who rebukes him. However, multiplying or hoarding wives, as King Solomon did was a sin.
2 Samuel 12 – Further, when Nathan confronts David about the matter of Uriah he compares marriage to owning sheep. The poor man had one sheep and the rich man had many sheep. Neither was in the wrong until the rich man stole the poor man’s sheep. Which matches precisely with God’s endorsement of David to his son (see the following item).
10. 1 Kings 15:5 – King David married about eight wives and 10 concubines, but it says David did what was right in the sight of the Lord (1 Kings 11:4, 2 Kings 18:3, 2 Chronicles 29:2, 2 Chronicles 34:2, Acts 13:22). If polygamy was a sin, David would not be right in God’s eyes.
11. 1 Chronicles 2:46-48 – Caleb had two concubines. Yet, he was one of only two men allowed to enter the promised land! And, as you know, Moses was not even allowed to enter the promised land due to one sin! Numbers 20
12. 2 Chronicles 24:2, 3 – Joash did what was right in the eyes of the LORD all the years of Jehoiada the priest. King Joash had two wives that were chosen by Jehoiada the priest!
13. Nehemiah 13:26 – Solomon is again shown to have sinned because he took foreign wives and multiplied wives, not because he had more than one wife.
14. Esther 2:2-4 – Esther was at least the second wife of the King. God orchestrated the salvation of the Jews through her marriage to a polygamist.
15. Job 27:15 – Job mentions a man whose “wives shall not weep”.
16. Song of Solomon 6:8 – The Shulamite is praised by many queens and concubines of the king who loves her. If you add up all the queens and concubines, you discover that the Shulamite who is courting with King Solomon here is the 141st wife of King Solomon.
Remember, this is a story on how God desires us to be with our spouse.
17. Isaiah 4:1 Mentions a day, when seven women will seek to be married to one man.
18. Jeremiah 3:6-10 – God portrays himself as a polygamist with more than one wife.
19. Jeremiah 31:31-32 – Same thing again here. God with more than one wife.
20. Matthew 25:1-13 – Parable of the 10 virgins, where Jesus has himself as the groom marrying 5 of the 10 virgins, making himself a polygamist in the parable.
21. Romans 5:13 – If there is no law for something, it is not a sin. There is no law against polygamy, therefore, it is not a sin.
22. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – Mentions that adulterers will not inherit the Kingdom of God, yet in Hebrews 11, we see many polygamists listed who inherited the Kingdom of God. Therefore, polygamy is not adultery.
23. 1 Corinthians 5:1 – A possible reference to a N.T. polygamous marriage: “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife.”
24. 1 Timothy 3:2, 12 – Bishops / Deacons must be husband of one or first wife (Gk G3391 – The KJV translates Strongs G3391 in the following manner: one (62x), first (8x), a certain (4x), a (3x), the other (1x), (Gk: “mia” irregular feminine of G1520; one or first wife i.e. not divorced). Because God does not change, ref. Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8, These verses are most likely saying that leaders have to at least have one wife. (consider the above information and item “C” below)
25. Titus 1:5, 6 – Elders the husband of one wife (Gk: “mia”” irregular feminine of G1520; one or first wife i.e. not divorced). These verses are most likely saying that leaders have to at least have one wife. (consider the above information and item 3 below).
26. James 2:23 – Abraham was called “a friend of God”, but he was a polygamist.
The idea is, we cannot just assume God is against polygamy, if there is no legitimate reason for such a belief. If God permits polygamy throughout the Old Testament and never does away with it in the New Testament, we must assume, it is still permissible even today.
Using a couple of vaguely referenced scriptures (i.e. ~ two becomes one flesh) to further a viewpoint is not good, and is just self-serving.
MANY OF THE DOCTRINAL CONTENTIONS IN THE CHURCH COULD EASILY BE SOLVED BY MAKING A FEW REQUIREMENTS WHILE STUDYING THE BIBLE ON ANY DOCTRINE:
A. You must consider ALL the Old and New Testament scripture when attempting to learn God’s mind on a topic or doctrine.
Psalm 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple (open minded).
Matthew 22:29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.
2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness
B You must consider the fact that all God’s Word is inspired, consistent, logical and truthful.
Psalm 12:6 And the words of the LORD are flawless, like silver purified in a crucible, like gold refined seven times.
Psalm 119:24 YOUR statutes are my delight; THEY ARE MY COUNSELLORS.
C You must consider that God is not hypocritical and that He does not change.
Malachi 3:6 “I the LORD DO NOT CHANGE.”
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is THE SAME YESTERDAY AND TODAY AND FOREVER.
D You must consider the Holy Spirit’s leading on interpretation while studying scripture.
1 John 2:27 As for you, the anointing you received from HIM remains in you, and YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO TEACH YOU. But as HIS anointing TEACHES YOU about ALL things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in HIM
Romans 8:14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God
Galatians 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
E 1 Corinthians 2:4-5 My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that YOUR FAITH MIGHT NOT REST ON HUMAN WISDOM, but on God’s power.
1 Corinthians 4:6b “Do not go beyond what is written.” Pro 30:6 Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.
TOTALLY AGREE Kevin…
FINALLY, hearing something true about polygamy. Who knows how many families have been shattered by divorce because polygamy is illegal. Where do we get off thinking we can REVISE God’s laws for Him? I am an evangelical Christian….just putting in my two cents on this.
Everything starts with ‘1’. Adam and Eve only had ‘1’ child to begin with, does that mean that God intended them to have only 1 chlld ‘ideally’ and just ‘tolerated’ them having more? For it did only start with 1 child, as did marriage/oneness with Eve …
Shalom, brother.
So good to see someone else deal with polygyny in truth, even more encouraging to see the many positive comments. You and your readers may be interested in a deep dive that addresses other aspects of marriage, submission, headship, etc.. here’s a series fueled by critics teaching falsehood..
Authority, Headship, and Family Structure; Responding to David Wilber and JK McKee: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJrMBrRFLh5cyFx0SuIrmSCSQX8xbiiYd
Brachot b’shem Yeshua!
Thanks for your comment Peter. Be blessed and SHALOM!