“…the fourth, Adoniyah the son of Haggit; the fifth, Sh’fatyah the son of Avital; and the sixth, Yitre‘am, whose mother was ‘Eglah David’s wife. These were born to David in Hevron.”-2 Samuel 3:4-5
Let’s continue going over how David built up his royal house.
So Adoniyah was the next-born son, and his name means “Yehovah is Lord.”
Then came Shefatyah, which means “Yehovah is the judge.”
Finally, Yitre’am was born.
Unfortunately, there ain’t anyone on the planet who has any idea what his name means.
We know that Yitre’am’s mother was Eglah, one of David’s wives.
Now, here’s the thing.
Some of the women mentioned were likely David’s wives, while others were concubines.
David’s official wives were to create political alliances, while concubines might have been servants or women he liked for you know what.
Having a harem was common for kings in the Middle East, and in no way did it break Torah law, though some argue it went against the spirit of it.
I should also point out that even though each mother is connected to just one of David’s sons, that does NOT mean she had only one child.
Each woman likely had several children.
The ones listed are their firstborn sons.
This also means David had many children in a short time, and a lot of them were probably close in age.
This will be important later when we see some of the trouble that happens in David’s family.
So what’s the takeaway for today?
I know a lot of folks in the Christian camp will say David’s harem contributed to much unrest in his family, but I think that’s making an unwarranted assumption.
The truth is, that family conflict and unrest can still occur in one-man-one-woman marriages as well.
Just because David had multiple wives doesn’t mean it was the cause of the problems in his household.
If we look at today’s society, we see plenty of issues in families that follow the traditional model.
What do we make of the fact that the divorce rate among Christian families is almost identical to that in the secular world?
Monogamy alone isn’t a guarantee of family peace or success.
And let’s not forget that in many Christian churches, same-sex marriages are becoming more common and accepted.
These are the same institutions that champion monogamy, yet they’re straying from biblical principles in other areas.
If the modern Christian community is so quick to judge David’s family situation, they should take a closer look at the inconsistencies within their own.
The bottom line, God’s Torah does not condemn David’s multiple marriages, and neither should we.
No commandment in the Torah says a man can only have one wife.
David was following the customs of his time, and to say that his harem was the root cause of the family drama is adding to God’s Word.
If we start condemning what the Bible doesn’t explicitly condemn, we risk creating rules that were never meant to be there.
Let’s focus on what the Torah says, and leave human assumptions out of it.
Ya feel me?
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