“However, he wouldn’t listen to her; and since he was stronger than she, he overpowered her and raped her. But then he was filled with utter revulsion for her — his hatred of her was even greater than the love he had had for her before. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up, and get out of here!'”-2 Samuel 13:14-15
While Amnon was raping Tamar…
There was only one concern on his mind:
Immediate gratification.
There was zero thought given to the consequences afterward.
Tamar, on the other hand, was concerned about the long-term consequences.
In a culture where virginity was highly valued, she had been ruined.
Amnon would move on with his life.
Not so with Tamar.
What’s even more tragic is how Amnon’s feelings changed after he had done the dirty deed.
The raging lust for Tamar instantly turned into hate and disgust.
This proves that any love he felt for Tamar was just selfish lust.
The moment he got what he wanted, the illusion shattered.
The adrenaline wore off…
And he was left face-to-face with the fact that he had just raped his sister.
He had violated God’s law and basic human decency.
He knew he couldn’t undo the damage.
That’s not a nice place to be psychologically.
And since Tamar resisted his advances with all her might…
It wasn’t as thrilling an experience as Amnon had hoped it would be.
The psychological dynamics at play here are complex.
I think Amnon directed all of his inner turmoil outward, onto Tamar.
Hatred became his way of disowning responsibility
As if pushing her away would push away the guilt, too.
In other words, he blamed her to avoid blaming himself.
Things immediately went from bad to worse.
Disgusted with what had been the object of his lust…
And the cause of his sin (as he saw it)...
He orders Tamar to leave.
Her response reveals how deeply shamed and humiliated she felt:
‘No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.'”
She had been defiled and rejected.
As I mentioned, in ancient Israelite culture, a virgin daughter of the king was expected to remain pure until marriage.
Tamar was royalty.
What Amnon did not only destroyed her physically and emotionally…
It ruined her future.
To be cast out afterward made her feel discarded…
As if she were worth nothing once she was no longer a virgin.
Some Rabbis say Tamar was hoping to sneak away at night in the hopes that nobody would see her.
Although forbidden by Torah, others think she wanted Amnon to marry her.
Why?
Because that was sometimes the only way for a woman to avoid total shame back then.
Regardless, Amnon couldn’t have cared less.
He ordered his servants to throw Tamar out and lock the doors afterward.
The takeaway is pretty clear to me…
And if it seems like I’m repeating myself…
Well, so be it.
It’s worth saying again.
So here’s the lesson:
Sin always promises pleasure…
But it never tells you about the shame that follows…
Amnon thought he’d feel satisfied.
Instead, he felt sick.
He thought taking what he wanted would make him happy.
Instead, it ruined two lives…
Tamar’s most of all.
That’s what sin does.
It takes.
It uses.
It lies.
And when it’s done…
It leaves you with guilt…
Lifelong regret…
And broken pieces you can’t put back together.
Let Tamar’s story be a warning:
Real love waits.
Lust destroys.
Don’t trade your future for a moment you can’t undo.
Are you feeling me here?
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