“The man’s name was Naval, and his wife was named Avigayil. The woman was intelligent and attractive, but the man was surly and mean in his actions; he belonged to the clan of Kalev.”-1 Samuel 25:3
So we’re told that Nabal hailed from the clan of Caleb.
The name Caleb should ring a major bell for you.
Recall the 12 spies that Moses sent out to reconnoiter the land of Canaan.
There were only two men who came back with a positive report.
They were Caleb and Joshua.
The other ten men allowed their negativity to get the better of them.
They said that while Canaan was indeed a wonderful land flowing with milk and honey…
It was also populated with frightening giants and to try and take the land would’ve been a kamikaze mission.
What was the result of their negativity?
God cursed this 1st generation of Israelites and they ended up perishing in the desert.
The only two clans that remained were the ones led by Joshua and Caleb.
Joshua’s clan belonged to the tribe of Ephraim.
Caleb’s clan belonged to the tribe of Judah.
Now, later on, we discovered that Caleb’s group intermarried with a Canaanite tribe known as the Kennezites.
This mixing with a group of people who God wanted to boot out of the land caused problems between Caleb’s clan and the other clans in the tribe of Judah.
Nevertheless, Caleb’s clan was given the charge if they could conquer the area of Hebron, that territory would be theirs.
The land was beautiful and perfect for farming and raising animals.
However, it would take some time to gain a foothold in this area.
They didn’t gain control until Caleb’s younger half-brother, Othniel, gathered up some men and took the city of Hebron.
So fast forward 300 years to 1st Samuel 25, and that’s where we’re at today in our study of the Scriptures.
We see that Nabal (the rich fool) is part of this group, and this territory is key to the story about to unfold.
So let’s stop here for the takeaway.
I mentioned that Caleb’s clan did intermarry with the Kennezites.
While there isn’t specific mention this intermarriage caused big trouble for Israel later on…
The truth is God did not want His people to mix with the Canaanites.
A good portion of Scripture is about all of the pain-in-the-neck problems Israel encountered due to ongoing conflicts and influences from the surrounding Canaanite culture and religions.
So that’s the lesson for today.
I take this as a reminder of the dangers of being unequally yoked with unbelievers…
Whether those unbelievers are business colleagues, marriage partners, or close friends.
Speaking of marriage partners, over the years I can’t count the number of international marriages between Western men and Japanese women I’ve seen fall completely the hell apart as the years progressed.
Again, that’s what happens when the foundation ain’t strong to begin with.
I leave you with these two quotes from the book of Proverbs:
“Better to live on a corner
of the roof than share a house
with a quarrelsome wife.”
-Proverbs 21:9
“A quarrelsome wife is
like the dripping of a leaky
roof in a rainstorm.”
-Proverbs 27:15
CONNECTING THIS TEACHING TO THE NEW TESTAMENT
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness
have in common? Or what fellowship can
light have with darkness?”
-2 Corinthians 6:14
You raise an issue that is a sort of a conundrum: we are not to intermix with non-believers, yet how can we be a light in the darkness if we never leave the light?
I was engaged to my wife before I found my Messiah, Yeshua. She is not a “born again” believer, but she does believe in God and that Yeshua is the Messiah because she was raised Catholic (12 years Catholic school) and even though she doesn’t attend a church (thank God for that!), she still has that drek ingrained in her mind. So we are not really unevenly yoked, so to speak, but unevenly faithful and unevenly dedicated.
Anyway, right after I found Messiah, I wrote her a letter (I have found letter writing to explain emotionally difficult situations helps to prevent misunderstandings, if the letter is carefully composed) explaining that she would always be the most important thing in this world to me, but God is above everything in the world. I asked her if she wanted to break the engagement, and explained- clearly- that God comes first.
She agreed to stay with me, and now more than 25 years later, we are so blessed! Our love gets stronger and our lives are happier than I ever thought possible for a schmo like me.
Shaul, that nice Jewish tent maker from Tarsus, said that in an unequally yoked marriage, the believer may help the non-believer come to God (1 Corinthins 7:13-14), and even though my wife hasn’t read even one of the 5 books I have written (I keep joking with her that a prophet has no respect in his home town), she bought the mezzuzot for our doors, and she helps prepare the Pesach Seder, and she allowed me to be totally involved with the synagogues I have attended, and she is understanding of the financial help I give to my followers in Uganda and Sierre Leone, and also shares spending money on charitable giving.
But, after all is said and done, it would be easier for me if we were both totally on the same page.
So, if you ask me, I would recommend NOT getting involved with a non-believer if you are a believer, but if you are already there, give them the chance to leave, but you can’t leave- a vow is a vow, and God hates someone who breaks a vow. It is better, in my opinion, not to get unevenly yoked, but if you are, you should make the best of it by being a good example, showing the peace that comes from faithfully believing God is in charge, and knowing that all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, and are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
Who knows? Maybe you will save the one you love, which is always what we should try to do.
Based on what you told me, I don’t consider your marriage to be unequally yoked. You both believe in God and His Son, and you are both growing in your relationship with God and with each other.
Plus, you’ve been together for a long time. Can’t say that about a lot of marriages these days, can we?